My not so Merry Christmas

The past few years was not really the best Christmas celebrations but i didn’t expect the this would be the. At first i was really happy because my boyfriend gifted me crochet flowers and photocards. I didn’t really expect that something would go wrong until the night before Christmas. Me, my boyfriend and my cousins planned that we would go caroling that night, little did i know something would go wrong. Me and my boyfriend had been together for almost 2 years and all of my family members know him except for my Dad. That night while we were caroling, my tatang (my dad’s older brother) told my dad everything. When we got back, my mother asked me to go home and talk about something. There she told me that tatang told my Dad everything. That night I cried and cried because of my fear that i would get a screaming of a lifetime from my dad. I got so emotional i started hearing screams in my head again. I’ve been dealing with this for so long, we’ve been to Doctor to Doctor just to find out whats wrong with me and I’ve been taking medications for months. I didn’t thought that all that had happen would bring it all back. I was thinking of running away but i just can’t see my family’s worried faces again since the last time i did that.

Despite what happened last night, I still enjoyed a little bit. I played with my cousins from my mothers side and it kinda help me think less of what happened. To be honest, I am not really sure if i wanted to share this but it’s kinda nice to share my experience and maybe some of you can relate to this.